Now this title is a little miss leading. I know some of you are going to think about your personal life but I am not going to talk about that.
This past week I was in Chicago and I got to spend a good amount of time with a very dear friendfrom college who lives in Chicago. I admire, respect, and geniunely value him and his views on the Christain walk. But he made a very deep statement that I need to wrestle with. At first glance I agree with the statement but as with all things that are new to me I have to investigate further and make sure it is sound
scripturally.
The Statement
"Marriage is not about our happiness but yet about Holiness"
My Thoughts
I agree with this at first glance but I will expand a little on his statement. A few points that will hopefully give you an idea of where I am going with this.
1. The Christian walk is not about our happiness.
I know people don't like to hear this but it isn't. Happiness is an emotional reaction to events in our lives. Christ never once tells us that our walk with him is about our happiness. This about that last statment and how it ends....."our happiness". This is selfish and if you are following Christ for happiness you are missing out on the true blessings.
2. The Christian walk is about holiness.
Now don't take me to say that this is the only purpose of our Christian walk but it is one key part of it. "Be Holy just as He(God) is Holy" Holiness doesn't always make happiness. But holiness will bring Joy.
3. The Christian walk is about Joy
Joy is not an emotion but an yet a choice we make in our lives. I choose to be joyful or not. I don't want to go deeper in to this but this is, I believe, Scriptural truth.
So with all those points stated there is little room to talk about marriage. But I will say this...My wife doesn't always make me happy. When she ask me to serve her in one form, fashion, or manner I am not always happy about it. But I choose to be joyful and serve her...an act of love. choosing to serve her over myself is a step towards holiness. She challenges me spiritually. She is seeking to make me holy.
"Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
Christ made the church holy. I should make my wife holy and she should do the same. So at first glance the statement is correct but I think it should be expanded. Let me here what you think. Do you agree with this statement?
2 comments:
Truthfully the first thing I thought of when I heard the statement was a reference back to 1 Cor 7:6-11. It's where Paul says that those without self-control should marry to that they (we assume) might remain holy.
Whereas I agree with you, I would also like to add something to the equation. Yes, marriage itself should not be primarily about our happiness, we should always try to marry someone who we can be happy with most of the time. That way we can experience happiness along with joy, because it is always easier to love someone if you are happy when you are around them.
So happiness should be the final reason we get married (since happiness will not last), but it should be a good indicator of a healthy relationship. So whereas I'm not going to be happy with my wife ALL the time, I should be most of the time at least.
I think you are confusing my points Josh. In my opinion love is not an emotion. Emotions come from Love but not the other way around in my opinion.
Now don't confuse me as to say you shouldn't be happy in marriage. If you are married it is because you want to be and because it does make you happy. But my core point was that the purpose of our marriages is not about our happiness cause there will be times when we aren't happy.
I am, right now, at a point in life in which getting to the core of the questions in life and Christianity are more important to me that doctrine or theology. Purpose is one of those things and purpose in marriage is sometimes confusing to people which is why I wanted to address it a little bit
Thanks for the comments
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